So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
