Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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