So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
