Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
