I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
