he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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