I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
