You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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