No stitches, just platelets and will power
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
