i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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