at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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