alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
