Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
