so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize