Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
