You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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