real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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