why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
