is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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