Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
