I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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