My room smells like vodka and shame
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
His nipple licking is glorious
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