their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
