I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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