dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
