you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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