I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
