better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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