My friends, they love my intelligence
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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