hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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