Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
