Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
