i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
