google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
