Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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