Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
