coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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