you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
