i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
