In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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