Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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