been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
