you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
