your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
