yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
