i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
