kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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