I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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