i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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