I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
