You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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