She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
