In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
