i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
