out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
