i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
