I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
