whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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