careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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