he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
