yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
