he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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