I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
nutella sex= disaster
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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